[ It's Cipher's turn to flush a brilliant gold. Between hearing that Lenore likes her, Phainon arm around her and the warmth of his body, and his following question, there's plenty for her to blush about. She's content.
She's sure in some cycles there were times she felt like that. When she gave everything up and let herself be led by some person who didn't matter in the long run.
She's felt like that in Decadia, too. It was so easy to fall into Cat King's touch. Let Lenore have her way with her. And -
Cipher nuzzles into Phainon’s neck, her long lashes fluttering against his warm skin there as she closes her eyes. ]
Sure I have. Mydeimos really does make it feel easy.
[ Phainon draws her close, lets her cuddle into him, holding her gently. It’s as if she’s a prized gift, something to cherish and keep safe, and in his eyes? She is. He had fought millions of lifetimes to ensure her joy and happiness, to make her wishes come true.
It takes a moment for her words to process, his hand stroking along the curve of her spine, and as they do… He breathes out softly.
It’s obvious what she means. Phainon was under no illusion that Mydeimos had been making his own place here, enjoying himself - he’d seen it when they’d returned from the ball. He had crawled into his bed and worshipped him for the sake of being the last to do it, a desire he had refused to examine. There’s something about knowing that he and Cipher had been together too, that the same safety Mydeimos offered him was also given to another…
It stings, in a way he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on.
Instead, he hums softly, fingers resting against the small of her back, eyes a little distant. He thinks his tone is measured enough that she won’t be able to tell, but knowing her…
Phainon just smiles. ]
He is remarkably skilled at that, for all his brutish nature!
Cipher is quiet for a long moment, her eyes still closed. She is not going to dwell. She is not going to make assumptions of Phainon again. However, she needs him to know something.
She hefts herself up on her forearms, caging Phainon between them (as much as she can given their size difference) so she can hover half over him. Her chest is now to his, and she leans in close so there's nowhere for him to run. She's nose to nose with him. ]
Mm. He didn't tell me what to do; it was easy because it was something we had to do. We hardly had a choice. [ She licks her lips. ] Not that I wouldn't want to have sex with him again [ Because, Titans, she does want to. ] but with the aphrodisiacs, and... he was going to make a fool of himself at the ball.
[ Phainon stares at her, and tries to wrestle his emotions back into place.
He doesn’t need Cipher to soothe him, as if he’s heartbroken. He knows what they’re here for, and what they’ve agreed to do. Anything he shares with Mydeimos is part of that understanding, of a desperation to make a wish come true. It’s the first wish he’s ever made for himself, and even then it’s for the benefit of others.
It shouldn’t matter to him who Mydeimos sleeps with. Especially not if it is Cipher, who remains important to them both. ]
You should sleep with him again. [ His mind settles on that, it seems. ] Choice or otherwise. He’d take good care of you, and that is what you deserve.
[ Phainon knows from first hand experience, after all.
It’s wrong, to feel so sour and upset when he has been equally as open with his affections, sharing himself with other people. He shoves it aside, emotions unworthy of the good heart his friends have; he has no right for envy or jealousy. He barely had the right to call them a friend. ]
[ Cipher opens her mouth. Closes it. Takes a breath through her nose. ]
I will sleep with him again. If I want to. [ She can't believe that's what he got from what she said. But, fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Is that what he wants her to say? That she'll sleep with Mydei again, and love every minute of it? Like the hurt isn't clear on his face?
Weren't they both supposed to be honest? ]
... Can I tell you my wish? A free truth.
[ As if they're still playing their game. As if she gives anything away for free. ]
His jealousy isn’t right. It isn’t fair. He flirts and teases other people and he buries his feelings away, shoves them somewhere deep, deep down where no one can look at them. He feels the fire of a blazing dawn in his heart and remembers millions of deaths at his own hands, and he breaks a little more.
Who else would be a cage for Irontomb other than a man with so much grief and anger in him? He had fought against an Aeon and failed. He had tried to save his friends and failed. He had tried to be a Deliverer, and had given the mantle to another. Sometimes, he felt less a man and more a shell.
Emotion makes his throat tight, and he gazes at Cipher. He wonders if she sees Phainon or Khaslana in his gaze; if she sees the man or the monster he made himself. ]
[ She doesn't want to. But she will, because she does see Phainon there under her. It's only ever been Phainon. ]
I wished for Aggy. To just- be with her for as long as I can. Because I don't trust myself to not ruin the chance that Era Nova has given us. That you gave us, idiot.
[ Cipher has longed to be by Aglaea's side, to be worthy of her, every cycle. Every single cycle. But she's fallen short every time. And in trying to prove herself beyond her means, too desperately, she's always pushed Aglaea away as far as she can get. She doesn't know if she knows how to just exist with her anymore.
To be happy, and not overcompensate, or compare herself to Hysilens or Tribbie or even - ] Phainon. I'm here to help you, too.
[ Phainon doesn’t understand - he can’t, because he can’t let himself believe that she knows, that she recognises. It’s easy to rationalise it was Deliverance, or his role as the Worldbearer, or something adjacent. For her to admit to such a soft, sweet wish, for her to admit to the tenderness she holds inside herself… It means something, and he can’t ignore it. He can’t turn his eyes away from her.
He knows, intimately, that she isn’t lying. Cipher has a reputation, has a role, just like he does, but there’s no trickery here. They’re both leaning mantles behind today.
One of his hands lifts, the one he’d had cut from him at the end of one cycle and birth of the next, and he dips her cheek so gently, as if he’s worried she might break. The tears are there in his eyes now, because he understands.
Oh, he understands, and isn’t that just the worst burden to bear? ]
I didn’t realise you… [ Knew. Felt that way. He’s not sure.
He closes his eyes, shudders through a breath. ]
It isn’t me, Cipher. I’m not the one who will save us. Our friend from the stars… It’s their fate.
[ He can’t open his eyes, can’t look at her. Feels the deep well of his grief too deeply. ]
I hope they grant you that wish. That you and Lady Aglaea find your happiness with one another, as you deserve.
[ Cipher leans into his palm; the touch grounds her when she otherwise feels like she's falling apart. Spilling her guts to him. She shakes her head.
"He likely thinks he's unworthy." That's what Mydei had said but, gods, it's so much more than that, isn't it? ]
Gray Mystery may have turned the page, but no one else could have done what you did. And if it weren't for you, that last cycle wouldn't have happened. You can't give them all the credit.
[ She touches her forehead to his. It's unfortunate that she has to drop this bomb on him like this, but it's important that he knows. Like it's the only way she'll get through to him. ]
Do you understand? We would not be here without you. I would not have this chance at a wish if it weren't for you. So why can't you be honest, too?
[ Phainon is truly running out of words, not sure what to say or how to fill the quiet, the silence. It hangs between them, and he draws Cipher close, holding onto her as if she’s a tender thing that might break. It’s so strange to him, thinking that she’s been aware this whole time, that she’s known and never changed now she speaks to him.
He’s too afraid to ask the obvious question. Too afraid to cross that final line, and wonder who else knows the truth of things.
Instead, both of his arms hold onto her, one around her waist and one against her cheek, and he lets his tears come, the emotions bubbling through him. Phainon feels weak and fragile, but filled with the need to be strong, to be good, to overcome it all.
To make her wish come true.
It’s obvious he has no idea what to say to her, breathless. ]
Cipher, I don’t… I’m not sure how. All this time, all these memories, I was only… I only wanted to save you all. To give you a future, a new dawn. Nothing else mattered beyond that.
But you're learning, right? This place... [ She laughs, but it's dry. ] this place might be the best way for you to learn.
[ To be honest. To want. To be selfish. She's already proud of him for the little that he has confessed to. Even if it's blatantly obvious that he's still omitting the truth of his feelings about Mydei.
Cipher melts into his hold. The exhaustion of this conversation suddenly sweeping over her; this was not her intention when she first showed up. And she doesn't have much left to say to Phainon either. Her throat works over a couple more achingly honest sentiments she could say. He's done well. He saved them all. He should be included in that. Save himself.
Instead, she noses once more into his palm, then his cheek. Lets herself be held and holds Phainon in return. Kisses by the corners of his eyes, stealing away his tears before they carve further down his face, licking his wounds the only way she knows how. ]
Through sex? [ Phainon makes a soft, equally dry noise. He can’t imagine that being exactly what she means, but he doesn’t have the strength to form any other kind of argument. It feels odd to think so, to imagine that the intimacy of this place would do nothing to soothe his hurts and his wounds, but…
He sighs. Some of the tension bleeds out of him, rubbed away, and he reaches to hold her close, leaning into all of Cipher’s tenderness. This is a rare and pretty thing, so he should do his best to show her that he respects it, that he doesn’t intend for her to be disregarded.
Thanks to her, he understands things better than he had before.
Each kiss softens him, and he turns his head, pressing his own in return against her cheek, her jaw. When he speaks, it’s softer and more vulnerable than he’s been in a long time. ]
[ That is absolutely not exactly what she means. For instance, there's no way she could be this tender with him in Amphoreous or even within the Exotale. That is something precious that has only been afforded to them here.
But he's not wrong, either. ]
Through sex. You learn what you want through sex fast, don't you agree?
[ He's young again, in her eyes, and Cipher can't help but feel so fiercely protective of him and this vulnerability he's allowed her to see. She settles further, letting her weight weigh heavier atop him. A silent tell that she intends to stay, but she'll say it too. For his sake. ]
[ Being a people pleaser translating into being submissive with men who want to be on top, and a caring, leading figure for women who wanted it. It’s a strange niche he’s found himself in, but it seems to be working in his favour.
Somehow.
Leaning back, he breathes out before his forehead touches hers. He grips her, and doesn’t want to let go, a new anchor in this strange and painful world. He loves her, but he’s not sure how to express it. ]
Cipher… [ Their noses brush. There are things to say, but he can’t find the words. He hopes she understands. ]
[ Cipher nods against him. He's learning. That is something. That's all she, personally, can ask of him. The rest is up to him.
Then their noses are brushing again, and he says her name like that, and her chest tightens. She understands. It's hard not to, given what they've been talking about, their proximity, and the intimacy of the vulnerability they've both offered each other. She loves him, too. And isn't it sad that that's something else she probably couldn't admit anywhere but here? ]
Mmm. I'm glad. [ There's a part of her that worries she's still making assumptions, but Cipher commits. She closes the last, negligible bit of distance between them. ]
There feels like more that should be talked about, that they should discuss the cycles, what it means, the weight of expectation. That the last thing Phainon remembers is Irontomb and his own endless graveyard, trying in vain to keep his friends safe one last time. That her love for another heir replicates his own unspoken one, and that’s an empathy that hurts.
But he doesn’t mention any of it.
Instead, he hand sinks into her hair, anchoring, as he leans into the kiss. He keeps it soft, slow to start with, born of real intimacy and honest feeling rather than the desperate burn of desire. It’s a connection with her, not this place making a demand, and he wants to treat it as the special thing it is. She’s special to him. ]
[ This is far from her first kiss here, but it's the first that steals her breath away with how gentle it is. How unhurried and easy it is. Cipher feels her blood flow slow to molasses as she continues to sink, sink, sink into the kiss and into Phainon. It's a new sensation that she thinks she could get used to.
The path her hands take down to his sternum are innocent. It's only her feline tendencies kicking in again, making her knead slowly, fists clenching around nothing in time with the rhythm of her lips moving against his.
Eventually, when her lips part and catch Phainon's bottom lip between them, it feels like the natural progression of things; still intimate and honest. No push or pull in any direction, but the option is there to further things. ]
[ It surprises him, now… innocent it feels, despite it being a deeply intimate kiss.
Cipher’s hands explore his body and Phainon leans into her, tilting his head. She nips, and he allows her to deepen the kiss just enough, his hands sliding down her body to rest gently on her waist. Her body is warm and so very good against his own, inspiring a kind of tenderness in him that he hasn’t really felt here, nor in this particular lifetime.
(It’s hard to be a creature of tenderness when your existence was a graveyard for a thing that would end your world as you knew it).
As the kiss deepens, as he leans into her, Phainon makes a soft, quiet sound against her lips. It’s not quite needy, but it’s close, not wanting to let go of her, not wanting this to end. He wants the comfort of this as much as the knowledge of her being here, being alive, after everything. ]
[ Such a soft sound... She feels it against her lips more than she hears it. Tastes it and all that it means. Cipher licks into his mouth as if to pull it out further. To swallow it down so she can keep it in her chest, selfishly hide it away, protect it.
She could kiss Phainon like this for hours, she thinks. Because it feels special, but also fleeting. Will they allow each other this intimacy again? She isn't even sure what she'll say when they eventually do part. There's too much to say and she doesn't want any of it to come to pass just yet.
So, she keeps kissing. Keeps nipping at his lips, teasing his soft palate, and hopefully stealing away more of those sweet keens of his. ]
[ As the kiss continues, something bubbles inside of him. It's a comfort, perhaps, or a warmth, something that makes him sink into this moment and feel less on edge and unsure of himself. Phainon isn't normally the type of man who gives into his worries (he is more likely to fight out the thoughts in a spar, or train to the point of exhaustion), but with nothing else to do, it is hard to ignore.
Cipher keeps kissing him, drawing more and more out of him as he yearns for him, fingers chasing her warmth. They trail along the bony shape of her spine, across shoulders lighter than his own, before he holds her closer, draws her into his embrace, and blinks back the tears that burn at his skin.
It feels like he is bleeding from an open wound, and all he can do is let her take, soothe, and hold him.
When he pauses, breathing sharply through his mouth, he leaves kisses against her jaw. His voice is low when he speaks, something like unhurried desire settling into his gut. ]
[ She continues to sink, especially as his hands roam her body, but then his question (request? desire? what is it? it tastes familiar but she's never been good at putting a name to her own feelings) pulls her back above water.
Cipher stills. She blinks down at Phainon, a measured silence, before delicately shifting so she's fully atop him. She straddles his waist, bracing herself with her palms flat on his chest. ]
Is that what you want?
[ For as much as her heart is thundering in her chest and she keeps glancing at his lips, Cipher won't make this easy for Phainon. She wants to hear him say it. ]
[ Wanting something and being selfish is so difficult for Phainon even now, but desire is a more secure thing. Now that he has tripped and stumbled into using his body to please others, hands calloused from fighting now soft on skin, he has a guiding light. He can manage this.
Leaning up, he pushes himself to meet her mouth again, to slide their lips together and bite at her, to hum against her skin. One hand rises, deliberate now, to brush against her waist, her thigh, to her breast, deliberate, thumb stroking there.
When Phainon moves his mouth to kiss along her jaw, he speaks in a low, soft whisper. ]
I want to touch you until you are filled with need. Until your claws sink into me and you demand more. Then I want you to put your thighs either side of my head and let me pleasure you.
[ Cipher watches him, looks Phainon directly eye-to-eye, and searches. It takes everything to ignore how his tone makes her shudder, her breathing uneven, in favor of looking for honesty in that promise of pleasure.
If this is what honesty looks like on him... ]
Unfair. [ She whimpers by his ear. How is he, really, so good at everything.
Cipher juts her chest out, into his touch, encouraging. She's not wearing anything complicated today; just a simple, loose sweater and shorts since it's starting to warm up. The hood she normally wears has been fashioned into a bow tied around one of her belt loops: an accent piece so she can keep it close without obscuring her face for the cameras. Phainon will have easy access to whatever he wants of her. ]
Then, yes, Titans - I can do that. [ She moves so they're kissing again, so she can bite at his lips more needy this time, uncaring if she's too rough or draws blood. He wants claws, so she'll give him claws and teeth. It's only fair when he's already started a slow fire in her chest. ]
Phainon doesn't want to think about the horrors of the cycles, the pain, the hurt, all the nightmares that haunt him. He wants to focus on Cipher, on the pleasure that he can bring her, taking care of her, doing everything within his power to bring her joy. Doing this will make them both feel good, but it will also bring her ever closer to her own wish.
He wants that for her. He wants her wish to come true.
The kiss grounds him, and he moans against her lips, drawing her closer. His hands go to her sweater, gripping the hem of it to lift it off, to tug it away so that he can make good on his word. His mouth fingers her neck as soon as the kiss breaks, and he scrapes his teeth over her skin. He feels harried, now, desperate - he wants this and her pleasure, more than he can say.
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[ Phainon lifts his arm, wrapping it around her and pulling her close.
The question makes him pause, hesitating briefly before he sighs, soft and quiet. ]
I suppose it was because it was easy. Mydeimos told me what to do, and I did it. There were no expectations? Have you felt like that before?
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She's sure in some cycles there were times she felt like that. When she gave everything up and let herself be led by some person who didn't matter in the long run.
She's felt like that in Decadia, too. It was so easy to fall into Cat King's touch. Let Lenore have her way with her. And -
Cipher nuzzles into Phainon’s neck, her long lashes fluttering against his warm skin there as she closes her eyes. ]
Sure I have. Mydeimos really does make it feel easy.
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It takes a moment for her words to process, his hand stroking along the curve of her spine, and as they do… He breathes out softly.
It’s obvious what she means. Phainon was under no illusion that Mydeimos had been making his own place here, enjoying himself - he’d seen it when they’d returned from the ball. He had crawled into his bed and worshipped him for the sake of being the last to do it, a desire he had refused to examine. There’s something about knowing that he and Cipher had been together too, that the same safety Mydeimos offered him was also given to another…
It stings, in a way he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on.
Instead, he hums softly, fingers resting against the small of her back, eyes a little distant. He thinks his tone is measured enough that she won’t be able to tell, but knowing her…
Phainon just smiles. ]
He is remarkably skilled at that, for all his brutish nature!
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Cipher is quiet for a long moment, her eyes still closed. She is not going to dwell. She is not going to make assumptions of Phainon again. However, she needs him to know something.
She hefts herself up on her forearms, caging Phainon between them (as much as she can given their size difference) so she can hover half over him. Her chest is now to his, and she leans in close so there's nowhere for him to run. She's nose to nose with him. ]
Mm. He didn't tell me what to do; it was easy because it was something we had to do. We hardly had a choice. [ She licks her lips. ] Not that I wouldn't want to have sex with him again [ Because, Titans, she does want to. ] but with the aphrodisiacs, and... he was going to make a fool of himself at the ball.
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He doesn’t need Cipher to soothe him, as if he’s heartbroken. He knows what they’re here for, and what they’ve agreed to do. Anything he shares with Mydeimos is part of that understanding, of a desperation to make a wish come true. It’s the first wish he’s ever made for himself, and even then it’s for the benefit of others.
It shouldn’t matter to him who Mydeimos sleeps with. Especially not if it is Cipher, who remains important to them both. ]
You should sleep with him again. [ His mind settles on that, it seems. ] Choice or otherwise. He’d take good care of you, and that is what you deserve.
[ Phainon knows from first hand experience, after all.
It’s wrong, to feel so sour and upset when he has been equally as open with his affections, sharing himself with other people. He shoves it aside, emotions unworthy of the good heart his friends have; he has no right for envy or jealousy. He barely had the right to call them a friend. ]
And I am glad you were there to help each other.
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I will sleep with him again. If I want to. [ She can't believe that's what he got from what she said. But, fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Is that what he wants her to say? That she'll sleep with Mydei again, and love every minute of it? Like the hurt isn't clear on his face?
Weren't they both supposed to be honest? ]
... Can I tell you my wish? A free truth.
[ As if they're still playing their game. As if she gives anything away for free. ]
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[ Phainon doesn’t want to think about the hurt.
His jealousy isn’t right. It isn’t fair. He flirts and teases other people and he buries his feelings away, shoves them somewhere deep, deep down where no one can look at them. He feels the fire of a blazing dawn in his heart and remembers millions of deaths at his own hands, and he breaks a little more.
Who else would be a cage for Irontomb other than a man with so much grief and anger in him? He had fought against an Aeon and failed. He had tried to save his friends and failed. He had tried to be a Deliverer, and had given the mantle to another. Sometimes, he felt less a man and more a shell.
Emotion makes his throat tight, and he gazes at Cipher. He wonders if she sees Phainon or Khaslana in his gaze; if she sees the man or the monster he made himself. ]
You can tell me, if you want to.
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I wished for Aggy. To just- be with her for as long as I can. Because I don't trust myself to not ruin the chance that Era Nova has given us. That you gave us, idiot.
[ Cipher has longed to be by Aglaea's side, to be worthy of her, every cycle. Every single cycle. But she's fallen short every time. And in trying to prove herself beyond her means, too desperately, she's always pushed Aglaea away as far as she can get. She doesn't know if she knows how to just exist with her anymore.
To be happy, and not overcompensate, or compare herself to Hysilens or Tribbie or even - ] Phainon. I'm here to help you, too.
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[ Phainon doesn’t understand - he can’t, because he can’t let himself believe that she knows, that she recognises. It’s easy to rationalise it was Deliverance, or his role as the Worldbearer, or something adjacent. For her to admit to such a soft, sweet wish, for her to admit to the tenderness she holds inside herself… It means something, and he can’t ignore it. He can’t turn his eyes away from her.
He knows, intimately, that she isn’t lying. Cipher has a reputation, has a role, just like he does, but there’s no trickery here. They’re both leaning mantles behind today.
One of his hands lifts, the one he’d had cut from him at the end of one cycle and birth of the next, and he dips her cheek so gently, as if he’s worried she might break. The tears are there in his eyes now, because he understands.
Oh, he understands, and isn’t that just the worst burden to bear? ]
I didn’t realise you… [ Knew. Felt that way. He’s not sure.
He closes his eyes, shudders through a breath. ]
It isn’t me, Cipher. I’m not the one who will save us. Our friend from the stars… It’s their fate.
[ He can’t open his eyes, can’t look at her. Feels the deep well of his grief too deeply. ]
I hope they grant you that wish. That you and Lady Aglaea find your happiness with one another, as you deserve.
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"He likely thinks he's unworthy." That's what Mydei had said but, gods, it's so much more than that, isn't it? ]
Gray Mystery may have turned the page, but no one else could have done what you did. And if it weren't for you, that last cycle wouldn't have happened. You can't give them all the credit.
[ She touches her forehead to his. It's unfortunate that she has to drop this bomb on him like this, but it's important that he knows. Like it's the only way she'll get through to him. ]
Do you understand? We would not be here without you. I would not have this chance at a wish if it weren't for you. So why can't you be honest, too?
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He’s too afraid to ask the obvious question. Too afraid to cross that final line, and wonder who else knows the truth of things.
Instead, both of his arms hold onto her, one around her waist and one against her cheek, and he lets his tears come, the emotions bubbling through him. Phainon feels weak and fragile, but filled with the need to be strong, to be good, to overcome it all.
To make her wish come true.
It’s obvious he has no idea what to say to her, breathless. ]
Cipher, I don’t… I’m not sure how. All this time, all these memories, I was only… I only wanted to save you all. To give you a future, a new dawn. Nothing else mattered beyond that.
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[ To be honest. To want. To be selfish. She's already proud of him for the little that he has confessed to. Even if it's blatantly obvious that he's still omitting the truth of his feelings about Mydei.
Cipher melts into his hold. The exhaustion of this conversation suddenly sweeping over her; this was not her intention when she first showed up. And she doesn't have much left to say to Phainon either. Her throat works over a couple more achingly honest sentiments she could say. He's done well. He saved them all. He should be included in that. Save himself.
Instead, she noses once more into his palm, then his cheek. Lets herself be held and holds Phainon in return. Kisses by the corners of his eyes, stealing away his tears before they carve further down his face, licking his wounds the only way she knows how. ]
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He sighs. Some of the tension bleeds out of him, rubbed away, and he reaches to hold her close, leaning into all of Cipher’s tenderness. This is a rare and pretty thing, so he should do his best to show her that he respects it, that he doesn’t intend for her to be disregarded.
Thanks to her, he understands things better than he had before.
Each kiss softens him, and he turns his head, pressing his own in return against her cheek, her jaw. When he speaks, it’s softer and more vulnerable than he’s been in a long time. ]
Stay?
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But he's not wrong, either. ]
Through sex. You learn what you want through sex fast, don't you agree?
[ He's young again, in her eyes, and Cipher can't help but feel so fiercely protective of him and this vulnerability he's allowed her to see. She settles further, letting her weight weigh heavier atop him. A silent tell that she intends to stay, but she'll say it too. For his sake. ]
I'm not going anywhere.
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[ Being a people pleaser translating into being submissive with men who want to be on top, and a caring, leading figure for women who wanted it. It’s a strange niche he’s found himself in, but it seems to be working in his favour.
Somehow.
Leaning back, he breathes out before his forehead touches hers. He grips her, and doesn’t want to let go, a new anchor in this strange and painful world. He loves her, but he’s not sure how to express it. ]
Cipher… [ Their noses brush. There are things to say, but he can’t find the words. He hopes she understands. ]
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Then their noses are brushing again, and he says her name like that, and her chest tightens. She understands. It's hard not to, given what they've been talking about, their proximity, and the intimacy of the vulnerability they've both offered each other. She loves him, too. And isn't it sad that that's something else she probably couldn't admit anywhere but here? ]
Mmm. I'm glad. [ There's a part of her that worries she's still making assumptions, but Cipher commits. She closes the last, negligible bit of distance between them. ]
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There feels like more that should be talked about, that they should discuss the cycles, what it means, the weight of expectation. That the last thing Phainon remembers is Irontomb and his own endless graveyard, trying in vain to keep his friends safe one last time. That her love for another heir replicates his own unspoken one, and that’s an empathy that hurts.
But he doesn’t mention any of it.
Instead, he hand sinks into her hair, anchoring, as he leans into the kiss. He keeps it soft, slow to start with, born of real intimacy and honest feeling rather than the desperate burn of desire. It’s a connection with her, not this place making a demand, and he wants to treat it as the special thing it is. She’s special to him. ]
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The path her hands take down to his sternum are innocent. It's only her feline tendencies kicking in again, making her knead slowly, fists clenching around nothing in time with the rhythm of her lips moving against his.
Eventually, when her lips part and catch Phainon's bottom lip between them, it feels like the natural progression of things; still intimate and honest. No push or pull in any direction, but the option is there to further things. ]
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Cipher’s hands explore his body and Phainon leans into her, tilting his head. She nips, and he allows her to deepen the kiss just enough, his hands sliding down her body to rest gently on her waist. Her body is warm and so very good against his own, inspiring a kind of tenderness in him that he hasn’t really felt here, nor in this particular lifetime.
(It’s hard to be a creature of tenderness when your existence was a graveyard for a thing that would end your world as you knew it).
As the kiss deepens, as he leans into her, Phainon makes a soft, quiet sound against her lips. It’s not quite needy, but it’s close, not wanting to let go of her, not wanting this to end. He wants the comfort of this as much as the knowledge of her being here, being alive, after everything. ]
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She could kiss Phainon like this for hours, she thinks. Because it feels special, but also fleeting. Will they allow each other this intimacy again? She isn't even sure what she'll say when they eventually do part. There's too much to say and she doesn't want any of it to come to pass just yet.
So, she keeps kissing. Keeps nipping at his lips, teasing his soft palate, and hopefully stealing away more of those sweet keens of his. ]
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Cipher keeps kissing him, drawing more and more out of him as he yearns for him, fingers chasing her warmth. They trail along the bony shape of her spine, across shoulders lighter than his own, before he holds her closer, draws her into his embrace, and blinks back the tears that burn at his skin.
It feels like he is bleeding from an open wound, and all he can do is let her take, soothe, and hold him.
When he pauses, breathing sharply through his mouth, he leaves kisses against her jaw. His voice is low when he speaks, something like unhurried desire settling into his gut. ]
Will you let me take care of you?
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Cipher stills. She blinks down at Phainon, a measured silence, before delicately shifting so she's fully atop him. She straddles his waist, bracing herself with her palms flat on his chest. ]
Is that what you want?
[ For as much as her heart is thundering in her chest and she keeps glancing at his lips, Cipher won't make this easy for Phainon. She wants to hear him say it. ]
Prove to me that you've really learnt something.
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[ Wanting something and being selfish is so difficult for Phainon even now, but desire is a more secure thing. Now that he has tripped and stumbled into using his body to please others, hands calloused from fighting now soft on skin, he has a guiding light. He can manage this.
Leaning up, he pushes himself to meet her mouth again, to slide their lips together and bite at her, to hum against her skin. One hand rises, deliberate now, to brush against her waist, her thigh, to her breast, deliberate, thumb stroking there.
When Phainon moves his mouth to kiss along her jaw, he speaks in a low, soft whisper. ]
I want to touch you until you are filled with need. Until your claws sink into me and you demand more. Then I want you to put your thighs either side of my head and let me pleasure you.
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If this is what honesty looks like on him... ]
Unfair. [ She whimpers by his ear. How is he, really, so good at everything.
Cipher juts her chest out, into his touch, encouraging. She's not wearing anything complicated today; just a simple, loose sweater and shorts since it's starting to warm up. The hood she normally wears has been fashioned into a bow tied around one of her belt loops: an accent piece so she can keep it close without obscuring her face for the cameras. Phainon will have easy access to whatever he wants of her. ]
Then, yes, Titans - I can do that. [ She moves so they're kissing again, so she can bite at his lips more needy this time, uncaring if she's too rough or draws blood. He wants claws, so she'll give him claws and teeth. It's only fair when he's already started a slow fire in her chest. ]
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This is him asking for what he wants.
Phainon doesn't want to think about the horrors of the cycles, the pain, the hurt, all the nightmares that haunt him. He wants to focus on Cipher, on the pleasure that he can bring her, taking care of her, doing everything within his power to bring her joy. Doing this will make them both feel good, but it will also bring her ever closer to her own wish.
He wants that for her. He wants her wish to come true.
The kiss grounds him, and he moans against her lips, drawing her closer. His hands go to her sweater, gripping the hem of it to lift it off, to tug it away so that he can make good on his word. His mouth fingers her neck as soon as the kiss breaks, and he scrapes his teeth over her skin. He feels harried, now, desperate - he wants this and her pleasure, more than he can say.
He wants her. ]
Tell me how it feels.
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